There are times in our life when it is hard to see beyond the challenges we are experiencing. We may feel depleted and exhausted, or perhaps we’ve tried our best and nothing changed. There is a tendency to linger on negative experiences or get caught up in cycles of unhelpful self-talk.
When we are in that kind of spiral, psychologist Tamar Chansky suggests trying “possible thinking”. Possible thinking is a willingness to see possibilities everywhere instead of limitations. Using possible thinking allows us to shift our perspective to think more realistically. Rather than closing ourselves off with a negative statement, we find facts – the kernel of truth – and reframe the statement to look for the “what can be” in the situation. The possibilities!
“If plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters – 204 if you're in Japan.” (Claire Cook)
The power of possible thinking is that it creates options, a whole alphabet of solutions! With this simple edit to our thoughts, we challenge our negative voice by offering ourselves a kinder, more helpful one. A statement like “I’m bad at math” becomes “I need to get better at math”. This shift allows us to see the avenues available to make progress or change (i.e., get a tutor, ask for help, work with a classmate, etc.).
Today’s Wellness Wednesday explores how the power of possible thinking can help.
Try this:
As a class, group, or family:
- Think of a time when you made a statement that was negative or closed a door (i.e.., “I’m so disorganized” or “I’m always late for the bus” or “My grades are so bad in this class”, etc.).
- Now, think of a way to reword the statement using possible thinking, rephrased so you open the door to possibilities.
- I’m so disorganized - I can work on organizing my day better.
- I’m always late for the bus/school - I want to start getting to the school/bus on time.
- My grades are so bad in this class - I would like to improve my grades in this class.
- Try a few more examples.
- Talk about the benefits of possible thinking. Here are some starting points:
- Possible thinking helps us to focus on the facts. When we focus on the facts, it is sometimes easier to see that we have options. For example, maybe we can create a list of priorities each morning, make a daily schedule, or identify one task each day that could be done more efficiently.
- Possible thinking helps us to identify what is within our control. When we identify what is within our control, it can be easier to find solutions to make things feel more manageable. For example, perhaps you want to improve your grades in a class. Make a list of what is within your control, such as studying more, asking for help, participating in a review session, working on homework with a classmate, etc.
Ask yourself, there is no wrong answer:
What are others learning from you about possibility? What are you learning from others?
Connecting to our faith:
The resurrection of Jesus reminds us that “…for God all things are possible”. (Matthew 19:26).
Easter allows us to reflect on the amazing gifts of faith, hope, and what is possible. Nothing is too great for God to achieve and this is comforting and encouraging, particularly in times of difficulty.
Further learning:
- Adult Book: “Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build A Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility, and Happiness” by Tamar Chansky
- Children’s Book: “The Dot” by Peter H. Reynolds
- Blog: “In Defense of Joy and Sorrow” https://tamarchansky.com/tools/defense-joy-sorrow/
Employees of LDCSB check out WorkLifeHealth from EAP Provider Morneau Sheppell
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